Boxer Shorts November, 2004 - 2 of 4
Editor's Pillion
by Victor Cruz
The year is 2024. An election year.
Dana Lewis sports a 3-foot long white beard and drives a trike, as do most of the old timers. A record 32 new members signed up at the last breakfast meet. All were in their mid 20's. Why are members so young now? Because the price of gas is now $14.99 per gallon for 57 octane. And that's a good deal.
The U.S. auto industry still refuses to develop fuel-efficient vehicles. The global oil shortage caused by the viral spread of consumption into China and India has been a boom to the $2 trillion motorcycle industry, which is now outselling cars and trucks by a margin of five to one.
About six years ago, the high market demand for performance, agility, safety, and smart ergonomics finally drove the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Company into the darkness of chapter 11. Rumor has it that HD is now toying with anti-dive front suspension, fully integrated ABS, and using the engine block as a stress member.
The Japanese bike lines of Honda, Yamaha, Kawasaki and Suzuki, were either sold off to industrial chopper assembly plants or abandoned altogether by R&D in favor of interstellar rocket ships. The six-cylinder Chinese WingDing scooter, which runs on ear wax and hair, can top 210 mph and comfortably seat a family of eight, has achieved world domination.
The Italians? Long gone. Ducati's legendary high maintenance wallet-pain has finally taken its toll, and drove the sleek brand into circuit racing exclusively, though they are still considered the chicest designs and collectors pay out the nose for anything Italian.
BMW, loyal at the core to their post-60 demographic, just announced a GS version of their Tryke, and all the grandpas are high-five'ng each other, wheezing and bumping into things, flinging dentures into the air like so many ceremonial graduation-day caps.
America is the last country on earth to realize that oil is politics and not synonymous with freedom, and that if you follow the money trail you discover the truth. World wars are the norm and seldom make headlines. The year is 2024, which means only 5 presidents have been seated.
Votes still count.
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